


Kimi ga Iru Kara

by Archie-sama (Arcchan)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Drama & Romance, Eremika - Freeform, F/M, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Sex, Smut, Songfic, Suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcchan/pseuds/Archie-sama
Summary: In a chaotic world of blood and tears, the emotions of Eren and Mikasa are always being tested to the limit. But there is a fact: no matter what kind of difficulty they have to go through, their feelings will always converge to each other.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	1. How did we get here?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ILUCIDA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILUCIDA/gifts).



> Hello, everybody! I'm back ❤
> 
> Kimi ga Iru Kara, from japanese, can be traduced as "because I need you", and I think it's a very appropriate name for this story. 
> 
> Actually, I am posting this fic as a gift for two of my best friends who also ship eremika with me (Lua and Fran). Just one of them have an account here, though. ILUCIDA, love you! ❤ 
> 
> > Eren and Mikasa have fifteen years in this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and forgive the strange sentences that could appear in the text, lol. 😳

> _Maybe if my heart stops beating_
> 
> _It won't hurt this much_
> 
> _And never will I have to answer_
> 
> _Again_ _to anyone_
> 
> _Please don't get me wrong_
> 
> _Because I'll never let this go_
> 
> _But I can't find the words to tell you_
> 
> _I don't wanna be alone_
> 
> _But now I feel like I don't know you_
> 
> **Never Let This Go – Paramore**

**"I** hate you!" Those words were spoken with visible contempt; something like anger gleaming fiercely in the green eyes of the speaker. Eren. 

_Eren was saying he hated her._

Despite the initial shock, and all of her insides contracting painfully as if she had been punched in the pit of her stomach, she did her best not to crumble. _Not in front of him._ She breathed calmly and struggled so that nothing in her heart could be reflected in her countenance. This time, she wouldn't show her usual expression of sadness after being rejected by him, even if she was totally confused.

As soon as Eren got to his feet, rising from the infirmary bed where he was once lying, Mikasa did the same. Previously she was, as usual, sitting in a chair and keeping company to an unconscious Eren, quite concerned and uneasy about his condition. When he awoke, his bleary eyes said only one thing: he was exhausted. Disappointed. _Feeling like trash._ But he didn't shed any tears; in fact, he had already cried all he could when the mission failed and more people died because of him.

Mikasa couldn't tell _when_ the conversation turned into a fight. He probably didn't want the comfort she was willing to give, maybe that would only make him feel even worse.

And then they got _here._

"I don't care, Eren," she lied stoically, and he knew it. He knew, but kept pretending not to see. In any case, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of surrendering. She stared at him impassively, as if she was unshaken, though the explosion in her chest indicated that all she wanted to do was cry. "As long as you're here..." She swallowed, feeling her throat slowly wanting to close. "As long as you're where I can see you, it's fine." That was the only truth she allowed herself to say. For a brief moment, she let the shadow of her concern for his life appear in her dark eyes, although she knew she would receive no thanks.

 _But that was fine,_ because she never loved Eren expecting something in return. She cared for his life simply because she couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

And as much as he had never said so explicitly as now, Mikasa realized she already knew. His eyes, which constantly burned with fury beneath furrowed brows, were always clear enough. _He hated her, right?_ Perhaps in the simplest and purest sense of the word. She was already used to it, dealing with the feelings so fierce that came from him.

_But who would love her if she couldn't love herself?_

She had found within herself a desire to survive, to persist and fight even when it seemed that a misstep could lead her into the abyss. But she had missed something very important in this process. _The will to live._ She was too preoccupied with dealing with things around to remember that she also needed to take care of herself – rest wasn't exactly a word that existed in her vocabulary. She had become a cold, apathetic person, indifferent to anything she thought unimportant to the cause she fought for. The urge to stay strong had taken everything she had. _Only the void remained._

And she didn't love herself because there was nothing good or praiseworthy about being who she was.

Because she had not been able to save her parents and had still got her hands dirty with other people's blood. She knew it wasn't her fault, that she'd done the right thing to save Eren and herself… But that didn't make her feel better, _her parents just wouldn't come back._ She was just forcing herself to move on, as she felt she was lost in this difficult and cruel world.

 _Her essence, where was it?_ The only thing remaining was an immeasurable sadness. A pain so constant she didn't know how she could stand it.

Mikasa had learned to fight incomparably, and she masterfully played any role assigned to her, but she could not protect her loved ones. _Not the way she would like._ Now she was killing titans, yet she still couldn't get the result she wanted. She kept killing and killing, and with it came the feeling that something inside her was dying too. _Her faith._ Belief in herself and perhaps in all of humanity. What was she waiting for? _The end of everything?_ As much as she fought, It seemed she would never be able to see it. 

She knew that in such a twisted world, attachment to anything was considered a weakness. And she'd done her best not to have any kind of "over-affection", because when she finally lost someone else, it might not hurt _as much_ as the first time.

But undoubtedly, Eren was her weakness. The most obvious and corrosive. _Deep and latent._ She didn't blame him for hating her. Because although it was not her intention, her love seemed to choke him. Painfully and intensely, _it cornered him._ But she couldn't give him up, he was all she still had and needed. As long as he was well… She would do her best to suppress her own pain and live with that hatred.

"You don't understand anything, Mikasa!" this time he shouted angrily. And she really didn't understand the point of that discussion.

Mikasa knew that her friendship with him was on the line. But even so, she didn't make herself try to understand him. Because it was useless, it would make no difference. He would still hate her, _nothing would change._ She was bound to lose everyone she loved _in one way or another._ She didn't blame fate, though. She blamed herself, for she had become so unshakable, yet she was still so weak when it came to protecting the people around her.

"I don't need you to protect me or tell me what to do!" Eren continued, seeing that he would not get an answer from her. Fury seemed to drip hot through his veins as his voice echoed through the room and scattered in the air like the dried leaves that covered the autumnal ground outside.

 _How many times had he said those same words?_ How many times he exclaimed she was not his mother nor his sister and should not try to act as such? _Mikasa had lost count._

But this time he was the one who didn't understand what was going on inside her. How tightly she clung to his existence in a desperate attempt to stay sane. Conscious. _Breathing._

Because, as much as she had discovered that she had an unquenchable desire to live to the last, most fife moment, Mikasa still needed something that would bring her back to reality. Something that would drag her sharply out of her most real nightmares, which she had to face everyday. And that something was Eren. _It would always be Eren._ It was he who aroused in her all the feelings that died over time. Beside him, she could see things she would never see on her own. _The future they fought for._

There was also Armin, he was a precious friend with whom she could not cut ties even if she wanted to, but he represented something different in her heart. Armin was the voice of intelligence and the purest form of kindness she had ever known, and she was always very grateful to have him by her side. However, it was in the Jaegers' son that she had decided to hold on when she was only nine years old, and even after so long, everything was still the same. She couldn't bear to lose him again, not as she'd let happen in Trost. That's why she was always trying to protect him, because Eren was her last spark of hope in a world as sordid and distorted as the one they lived in.

 _A world painted dark gray,_ like the heavy clouds that hung in the cloudy sky from the other side of the window.

She wanted to live and would continue to do so even if he was no longer there, that was what she had promised herself. _If she died, she couldn't even remember him_ . However, she had no guarantee that she would stay sober after all. Mikasa preferred a reality where Eren was present, because so the world could still be beautiful, albeit cruel. Without him, it would be cruel and _meaningless._ All that would be left would be distant memories and broken images of a future she could never have.

She just wanted to feel needed for Eren even once, because she'd been saved by him. And on that day, of all the things she could surrender to repay her debt, she surrendered her _heart_ , and there was no turning back. Eren Jaeger was her family, her most important bond, and that was why she was fighting. So that one day, when all was at peace again and Paradis Island free from the threat of the Titans, they could return to those times when everything was less complicated and painful.

_But that seemed like a faraway dream now._

She was overwhelming Eren with all her anxiety and worry – and he already had too many problems to deal with, _too many burdens to carry._ He just didn't know she felt the same way… Trapped by a mix of feelings that choked her cruelly and slowly. She was silently enduring the pain and despair of loss. The loneliness of locking everything inside and having no one to share with – because she didn't want to be a nuisance.

An extra negative feeling would not be new. She could bear a few more emotions in her chest, hiding them so that they had no room in her face. Yes, she really was used to it…

_But why did it hurt so much?_

Why did hearing those things from Eren, the one who was her refuge, make her heart feels so tight? It was nothing she didn't already know. But why couldn't she stand listening? Why could she pretend not to know so that she could stay by his side, but she couldn't ignore it?

"Say something!" he demanded, angry at the silence and uncompromising posture she was trying to maintain. But she, bruised inside and with no other alternative, could show nothing more, nothing less than indolence about the words coming out of his mouth.

Mikasa swallowed again, feeling a bitter taste in her mouth, and, with dull black eyes, she answered him:

"If you weren't risking yourself and the mission so hastily, I might think not to scold you." But that was not what she wished she had said.

_I don't think you're unable to take care of yourself, Eren. I'm just afraid. Afraid to lose you._

And maybe that was exactly what Eren Jaeger would like to hear. He wanted to hear that he wasn't useless, that he made any difference, even if it was minimal. _But she didn't speak._ She chose to omit herself once more, knowing that nothing would bring them back to those times she had so longed for.

"You're so stupid," the boy said through his teeth, his jaw line becoming tense. And he gave up another fight that no longer seemed to make any sense. He just turned around with his fists clenched and, even though he was still not feeling well, left the ward.

And Mikasa's legs finally gave way, causing her to fall back to the chair. 


	2. Stuck on my feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back! ❤
> 
> Sorry for the errors and I hope you enjoy this chapter. 😳

> _There is a swelling storm_
> 
> _And I'm caught up in the middle of it all_
> 
> _And it takes control_
> 
> _Of the person that I thought I was_
> 
> _The boy I used to know_
> 
> _There is a light in the dark_
> 
> _And I feel its warmth_
> 
> _In my hands, in my heart_
> 
> _Why can't I hold on?_
> 
> _It comes and goes in waves_
> 
> _It always does, it always does_
> 
> _We watched as our young hearts fade into the flood_
> 
> **Waves – Dean Lewis**

**C** ommander Erwin called the current Levi and Hanji squads to a meeting. The main agenda was how to reverse the failure of the previous mission; it would be necessary to return to the starting point and reconnoitre the southern region between the walls Maria and Rose. After Eren's last confrontation with the Female Titan, Annie had enclosed herself in a super-resistant crystal and the resources of the Fourth Squad to conduct the research were running out.

Erwin knew Hanji desperately needed more information, but although they were practically in a dead end, they couldn't place that responsibility on Eren alone. The boy also had no idea what he was capable of doing with his powers, so he would need to actively participate in the future tests. Therefore, the Survey Corps needed a good strategy to raise more specimens of titans – possible substitutes for Sawney and Bean – and try to continue the research.

The last expedition was still recent and the Regiment would not have enough time for a good recovery, however, even if more lives could've been sacrificed in the process, the Commander decided this advance was something that could not be postponed. The enemy was lurking, and they needed to be prepared for possible confrontations. _Knowledge is power_ , Hanji had once told him, and he couldn't agree more – he even had, without hesitation, left her in charge of all the research and experiments with titans. 

Nevertheless, Erwin was aiming for a quiet and strategic advance, as any misstep could result in another fiasco, and this was not something he was willing to allow a second time. His orders were to keep as little contact as possible with any irrational titans – except the rare ones, which they intended to capture – in order to reduce the damage caused to horses and three-dimensional equipment.

The meeting had already started some time ago when Eren opened the door, entering the room with a serious expression and making everyone present look at him. Some were amazed he was out of the infirmary, and others were more than accustomed to his obvious and, in a way, persevering stubbornness.

Mikasa, on the other hand, was very surprised and concern reached her instantly. She wanted to go to him and insist he return to the infirmary to continue resting and caring for the wound, but she refrained. She lowered her head and pressed her lips together, uncertain about her relationship with him at that moment. Was the fight they had just another setback in the relationship or did it represent a crack that would never be fixed? _She was afraid of the answer._

Maybe she shouldn't take his words seriously and keep acting like nothing happened? Or should she just walk away and wait for things to work out this way? What made her more hesitant was the fact she knew Eren considered her invasive, so confronting him directly didn't seem like a good option. She didn't want to make it look like she was imposing her presence.

"It's unfair to have a meeting without me," complained Eren, meeting with the others around the table in the center of the room and ignoring, besides the whispers, the long and inquisitive look Armin cast on him.

Captain Levi, who was beside the Commander, was the first to speak out:

" _Oi,_ shitty brat," he frowned, "what are you doing here?" His dark eyes became questioning. "You look like even worse trash than yesterday." And his scathing tone caused chills in Eren's spine.

Everyone was silent. With memories of the last incident still fresh, no one would dare to speak up. It was not a good time to receive a reproach from the Captain. Eren probably already felt bad because of what had happened. Levi, then, was uncertain whether to be upset or to overlook the situation.

"That room was choking me," the boy lied in a whisper, averting his eyes and making Levi raise an eyebrow. "I can stay, can't I, _danchou_?" he asked the blond man, who nodded slowly. Even though he carefully assessed him with his eyes, Erwin considered Eren to be a valuable piece for humanity, so he would not be the one to object to such a simple matter.

Hanji, anyhow, was categorical when analyzing the sweat that ran down the boy's temple:

"You're not well."

Eren certainly had a fever.

"It's just a goddamn meeting," he said, annoyed. And while everyone was watching him and probably judging him in thought, he ground his teeth.

Before Levi could scold him for his lack of respect when talking to a superior, Hanji was quicker and countered:

"Yes, and despite that you insist on being here. Curious, isn't it?" A provocative little smile appeared on her face. However, she was not really in the mood to make him be frank. People normally had internal wounds they would not want to expose to anyone, including her. "You won't be of any use if you don't recover, Eren. We need you to be healthy for the mission." Hanji approached and held his forearm, watching the blood that started to accumulate under the bandage on his shoulder. It was really fascinating that even the effects of titan regeneration could be delayed in the event of a possible infection, but she would leave it up to examine later. She looked at him. The green eyes showed nothing but irritation and tiredness. He didn't look well, although she knew she would never see him admit it. "You are going back to the infirmary as soon as we're finished here, understood?"

Even though Eren was still breathing hard, at least his expression softened at that moment.

"Yeah," he agreed with a slight nod, leaving Armin and Mikasa, for the time being, relieved.

And so they continued what they were discussing earlier.

Upon realizing attention was no longer focused on him, Eren breathed slowly, ignoring the pain in his inflamed shoulder. He was not the best at hiding emotions, most of the time it exploded in his body expression, released with all his might. It wouldn't be pleasant if they came to question him, because he would respond with all the rudeness reserved for those moments when he was hot-headed. Luckily, no one bothered to ask what he was really feeling, and his opinion was only needed when his titanic powers were cited, making him stifle his feelings in order to respond rationally. Most of the discussion, however, was between Erwin, Hanji and Armin, who had the most relevant views regarding the plan.

In the middle of it all, Eren's eyes scanned Mikasa's face involuntarily. The girl was standing just a few chairs away from him. He could see how much she was focused on the discussion, even offering to protect the rear of her squad, so that she would have a broader view of possible threats. Her voice was steady and calm, very different from the somber tone she had used with him in the infirmary several hours ago, and there was a neutral expression on her face that didn't deliver much of what she was thinking.

At that moment, the attention Eren had at the meeting dissipated, and all he could see was the profile of his childhood friend. Dark hair at the neck, straight nose and lips drawn in a delicate line... _That was the girl he supposedly hated._ The _very beautiful_ _girl_ he supposedly hated. At this point the voices in the room were only distant whispers, but, when someone called him more than once, he was forced to return to focus, mentally cursing when he realized he was staring at Mikasa too much.

 _What was he waiting for, anyway?_ Eren didn't know. But after answering what was asked, his mind was already gone again.

Mikasa's apparent indifference to his presence caused him an annoyance he couldn't explain, but there was an unpleasant vision that could make him forget anything. _Jean was beside her,_ keeping a respectful distance, but whispering things now and then that he couldn't hear. One of those times, the girl turned her face to Kirstein and smiled, shaking her head and answering him with something else that, _damn it,_ Eren might have given an arm to know what it was.

And it disturbed him at levels he was not yet ready to admit. _Damn horse face,_ was the only thing he could think of while clenching his fists. He snorted in agony, and the wound on his bandaged shoulder seemed to bother him even more. As much as he looked for them, Mikasa's eyes never met his, and she also didn't bother to say her usual words of concern and encouragement – those he believed hating, that now were making him feel stupid for missing it.

It was as if he was being… _avoided._ That simple thought made his head hurt, and he controlled the urge to rub his temples. He didn't want anyone to realize he had an internal dilemma.

"I'm going to need Levi with me on that side," said the Commander, pointing on the map where he and Levi would follow with some men. "Hanji will go to the east with her squad and the rest…" He dragged his finger to a more distant location on the map "...will follow here, the final destination." Erwin stopped talking and glanced at the others, watching if everyone was attentive to his commands and according to the plan. "We will take what we need and, if there is no unforeseen event, return immediately."

There has been no objection so far. Just one question, coming from Connie:

"But if Captain is not going with us, who will be our leader?"

"I've been thinking about it..." Erwin said analytically. "And I believe the intelligence of Arlert will be of great use. In this mission, he will lead you." He pointed to Armin, ordering him to give one step forward.

The boy, although, froze in place, a drop of sweat running down his forehead. The blue irises faltered. He was fearful.

"But _danchou_ , I- I don't know if-"

"It's all right," Eren interrupted his friend, shaking his head and staring at him before he completed the sentence 'I don't know if I'm good for it'. "I trust Armin's decisions."

Armin was quite surprised, blinking several times. But the encouragement from his friends, who agreed with Eren's speech, was enough to make him relax a little. Then, taking a deep breath and allowing himself to give a slight smile, he accepted the honor of the challenge and stepped forward.

"I'll be at your service, sir!" He put his right hand over his heart, bowing.

Mikasa looked at him with evident pride. Hanji was excited by his attitude and her eyes shone through her glasses. Levi crossed his arms, a small smile on his lips. _That would be interesting._

"Well then," Erwin continued, "Arlert will remain in charge of the 104th squad, and soldiers Springer and Braus will accompany him at the forefront."

"Yes, sir!" Sasha and Connie said in unison.

"Eren Jaeger will be right behind the three; be aware of your leader’s commands, because sooner or later you’ll need to activate your titan." He looked at Eren seriously, and the boy nodded in confirmation. "Just don't do anything rash," he advised, more like a subtle pinprick.

People considered Eren to be a fundamental part for humanity's cause, but making impulsive decisions was sometimes part of who he was: a teenager. The boy carried a very large responsibility on his back, enough to raise his insecurity to a level that could easily harm him. _He was everyone's hope,_ they said. _The monster that would save them?_ Perhaps.

"Are you listening, right, Eren?" Jean provoked.

Eren would probably hit back if he weren't so tired and in the middle of an important meeting, but he ignored the vein that bounced on his forehead and just gave the other a sharp look.

"Eren, you'll be accompanied by soldiers Hoover, Braun and Ymir, who will be primarily responsible for assisting in capturing the other titans. At the rearward will be Ackerman, Lenz and Kirstein. They should pay attention around and keep things from getting out of hand," Erwin continued, indicating the group at the table's side. "All in agreement?" he questioned, receiving only confirmations. "Great."

Christa, who was frowning, looked a little nervous. Perhaps because she had to complete the mission alongside Mikasa Ackerman, the girl who was worth more than a hundred soldiers. Ymir, who was standing next to the blonde, just watched her in silence, as if she knew what was going on in her head. Reiner and Bertholdt looked at each other for three seconds. Jean seemed very pleased, since he, despite all that situation, could show Mikasa another side of him up close: that of seriousness and determination.

Mikasa, as always, remained neutral about that. She had no way of saying she was happy to be sent to the battlefield to, perhaps, see more people dying. She was also not sad because that was her duty, something she had chosen on her own and could not complain about. She just had a mission to accomplish and would do her best to contribute in any way she could. If it were up to her, she would protect Eren, Armin and the others at all costs. She would not allow herself to fail. _Fight_ , she was always saying to herself since she was saved by Eren as a child. _If you don't fight, you can't win._

But she also couldn't deny it: at that moment, her thoughts were far away from that room. She was thinking about the infirmary and the fight she'd had with Eren. About the hard look he had given her and the callous words he had said. The "I hate you" was repeating in her head in a spooky, tireless loop. It really seemed like a nightmare, but, unfortunately, it was _very real,_ and she would have to find a way to deal with it. _She needed._

And Eren, _oh, Eren..._ If this meeting had been held a few days ago, he might not have even cared that Mikasa would cooperate with Jean. It was a common situation when it came to their chores as soldiers; both of them had even cooked together before. Maybe Eren just never cared because Jean was a terrible cooker, and there was nothing for Mikasa to pay attention to. Not to mention the fact that he, conscious or not, never allowed a closer relationship between those two.

However, in that instant, he was brooding over the fact Mikasa would be at Jean's side again, not his. And he felt like an idiot for having such a futile and selfish thought at a time like this, wishing for something he didn't even… _didn't even care about,_ right? His feelings should be irrelevant in such a situation. It would be an important expedition, an advance to the Survey Corps, so why the hell was he so mad? Maybe, because he always had that, he was paying attention just because he didn't have it anymore?

Mikasa's constant presence would not be missed. _Pfft_ , of course not. He hated her over-caring and the fact she knew him so well. He hated that she knew his weaknesses. He hated not being strong enough on his own and showing a fragility he shouldn't have and, above all, shouldn't let her _see._ He absolutely hated every detail of everything that had happened in the past few days. The failed mission, that annoying wound on his shoulder, the stupid fight in the infirmary… He was exhausted and extremely angry for successively failing with humanity, with his superiors, with his friends and especially…

_Especially with Mikasa._

He felt injured deep down, with his pride hurt and betrayed by himself. Useless and inconsolable. _A real shit._ But he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him.

After Erwin finally declared the meeting was over, people started to leave little by little, all commenting discreetly about the next mission – except Hanji, of course. She excitedly exclaimed she was looking forward to starting her next experiments, and some of her subordinates were laughing (others were clearly afraid), while Levi said she was a "four-eyed nut".

Armin again cast a suspicious look at his best friend, following out of the room with Connie and Sasha. The boy still didn't know anything that happened, and Eren understood very well that his look meant " _we'll talk later"._ But he just shrugged, because he didn't feel like running away, much less saying anything.

Finally, the green irises came across Mikasa and Jean walking side by side, talking some triviality.

"Of course I should be responsible for the supplies." Eren heard Jean say. "If I left it with Connie, Sasha would attack everything before he realized." And he started to laugh, being accompanied by Mikasa, who laughed lightly, agreeing that Sasha could be very scary when it came to food.

Eren's eyebrows furrowed as much as possible, and he tightened his fists again. While he lost control, telling Mikasa that he hated her and making her distance herself even more, Jean made her laugh casually, and that was something he didn't remember seeing her do often. His memories always took him back to the old days, when they were still children and there was no one to make her smile like _he_ did.

"Mikasa," he called on impulse, before she really left.

The girl stopped walking, remaining on her back. Jean turned first, looking at him normally. However, in the next instant, Eren knew he realized there was something wrong, as he alternately looked at Mikasa's face and his. And she turned in the next moment, a cold expression taking her countenance. A look that didn't betray her at all. She would probably hate if he could guess what she was thinking. And, well, _he couldn't._

"Yes?" she asked simply, staring at him.

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He closed it. He didn't know what to say, he hadn't thought about it yet. He had called Mikasa in the heat of the moment, simply because he was hating to see her so far away, as if he couldn't reach her. And he hated even more that she was with Jean, paying attention to him, _laughing with him_ as if he were someone so important.

He opened his mouth again, looking into her dark eyes.

"Well, I…"

"Mikasa, Jean!" He was interrupted by Sasha, who ran back down the hall and stopped in front of her friends with a smile. "There is something I urgently need to show you, come with me!"

"Eren?" Mikasa looked at him again, silently suggesting that he continue what he was about to say.

He returned the look, then averted his eyes and shook his head in denial.

"It's nothing," he lied. But she didn't seem willing to insist.

Eren saw her just nod, and couldn't tell if that little glimpse in her face was disappointment. Without saying anything, Mikasa left with Sasha. Jean, on the other hand, remained where he was. And, to Eren's surprise, he said:

"I don't know what's going on, but you better talk to her soon."

He had already noticed Mikasa and Eren were not side by side as usual, which he didn't think was bad, since he gained a little space to talk to the girl. However, he realized it was something serious when he saw Mikasa paralyze before his eyes, with an expression of someone in _pain._ It was not physical, obviously, as she had no more than a few scratches she had acquired on the last expedition. It was _emotional._

"It's none of your business, Jean," replied Eren, with a fierce gleam in his eyes.

"In addition to being suicidal, now you have also become an asshole?" Jean retaliated, really angry. The matter might not be his business, but he decided to intervene because, _damn it,_ he worried, even though he didn't say it out loud. "Well, know that I don't mind being next to your _beloved Mikasa_ in your place." And that said, he withdrew, leaving alone a totally pissed Eren.

And Eren wasn't just mad about the situation. _He was angry with himself._


End file.
